The Science of Supporting Your Pregnant Partner

Introduction: The Evidence for Partner Involvement

Partner support during pregnancy is more than a nicety—it is a scientifically validated factor in maternal and fetal outcomes. Multiple studies demonstrate that the quality of partner support during pregnancy directly influences both physical and mental health outcomes for the pregnant individual and the developing child.

This guide synthesizes current research on partner support during pregnancy, providing evidence-based strategies to effectively support your pregnant partner. While acknowledging that most pregnant individuals are women, the principles apply across all gender identities and relationship configurations.

The Scientific Evidence: Why Your Support Matters

Maternal Mental Health Outcomes

Research by Stapleton et al. (2012) found that mothers who perceived stronger social support from their partners during mid-pregnancy experienced lower emotional distress postpartum, even after controlling for distress in early pregnancy. This suggests that partner support during pregnancy has protective effects that extend beyond the prenatal period into the postpartum phase.

Studies show relationship security and satisfaction influence postpartum emotional wellbeing. According to the research, the sense of relationship satisfaction and security is in part determined by the perceived quality of partner support. This suggests that while overall relationship quality matters, specific supportive behaviors have unique importance in promoting maternal emotional health.

Infant Development Outcomes

Perhaps one of the most compelling findings in recent research is the connection between partner support during pregnancy and infant temperament. Babies whose mothers had supportive partners during pregnancy tend to be calmer and less easily distressed by new situations. This finding persisted after controlling for relevant variables, suggesting a meaningful connection between prenatal partner support and infant emotional development.

The pathways of influence appear to be both direct and indirect. While maternal emotional distress likely plays a mediating role, research suggests that partner support during pregnancy can influence infant development through multiple mechanisms, including better maternal health behaviors and reduced maternal stress.

Pregnancy Health Behaviors

Research indicates that pregnant women who perceived stronger social support from their partners exhibited improved prenatal health behaviors. Studies from Project Viva and Project ACCESS demonstrate that higher partner support was associated with better adherence to prenatal care recommendations and improved overall maternal wellbeing.

Beyond emotional health, research indicates that the presence of a supportive partner equips women with a heightened sense of empowerment to deal with the challenges of pregnancy, including maintaining a healthy diet during pregnancy. This empowerment has broader implications for overall pregnancy management and maternal self care.

The Impact of Partner Presence During Labor and Birth

A quasi-experimental study conducted during the COVID-19 pandemic (when some partners were excluded from births) found that the continuous presence of a partner was associated with a higher probability of a low-intervention birth and a more positive birth experience. Even partial presence was positively associated with birth experience. These effects were independent of relationship quality.

This suggests that your physical presence during labor and birth has value beyond the general quality of your relationship. Your presence itself appears to be a protective factor.

Addressing Misconception: Invisible Challenges of Early Pregnancy

The First Trimester Paradox: When Support is Most Needed Yet Least Provided

Research reveals a concerning pattern in partner support during pregnancy: support is often lowest during the first trimester, precisely when many pregnant individuals are experiencing some of their most debilitating symptoms. This pattern emerges from a widespread misconception that pregnancy becomes progressively more difficult as it advances.

Studies indicate that partners commonly believe that support is most critical in later pregnancy when physical changes are more visible. However, research contradicts this assumption. For many pregnant individuals, the first trimester involves profound physiological changes that can result in extreme fatigue, nausea (“morning sickness” that often lasts all day), vomiting, food aversions, heightened sense of smell, and mood fluctuations.

What makes this period particularly challenging is that these symptoms are largely invisible to others, occurring before the pregnancy “shows” physically. This creates what researchers call the “first trimester paradox”: when support is most needed, it is often least provided, as partners cannot visually perceive the dramatic internal changes occurring.

A longitudinal study of couples during pregnancy found that partner support often increased in the second and third trimesters as the pregnancy became more visibly apparent, but pregnant individuals reported feeling least supported during their first trimester when many were struggling most with debilitating symptoms while still maintaining their regular work and life responsibilities.

The Scientific Reality of First Trimester Challenges

The physiological basis for first trimester difficulties is well-documented. During the first 12 weeks of pregnancy:

• Human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) levels rise dramatically, peaking around weeks 8-10, which correlates with peak nausea and vomiting symptoms
• Progesterone levels rise significantly, which can cause extreme fatigue, food aversions, and digestive changes
• Every system in the body (heart, lungs, blood, kidneys, gastrointestinal tract, immune system) undergoes significant changes in the first trimester and many of these changes result in symptoms and discomfort. 

Research indicates that approximately 70-80% of pregnant individuals experience nausea during pregnancy, with about 50% experiencing both nausea and vomiting. For many, these symptoms interfere significantly with daily activities, work performance, and family relationships.

One study found that the negative impact of first trimester symptoms on quality of life was comparable to that experienced by individuals receiving chemotherapy for cancer—yet society typically does not recognize or accommodate these challenges to the same degree.

Supporting Through the Invisible Stage

Based on this research, it is crucial that partners provide consistent, substantial support beginning in early pregnancy. Support should not be gradual, increasing as the pregnancy progresses, but rather robust from confirmation of pregnancy. Being cognizant of this common misconception will help you provide more effective support precisely when your pregnant partner may need it most.

Four Evidence-Based Support Categories

Research has identified four distinct types of support that are beneficial during pregnancy. A comprehensive approach incorporates all four types, as they serve different but complementary functions in promoting maternal wellbeing.

1. Instrumental Support: Practical Help

 

Research shows that partners primarily offer instrumental support to pregnant individuals, including cooking meals, grocery shopping, and helping them avoid foods considered unsafe during pregnancy. This practical assistance is crucial throughout the entire pregnancy, not just in later stages.

Studies indicate that pregnancy-related complaints among pregnant individuals often begin early and can be severely debilitating even in the first trimester. Many partners incorrectly assume that instrumental support is only needed in later pregnancy when physical changes are more visible. However, research shows that symptoms like extreme fatigue, nausea, vomiting, food aversions, and heightened sense of smell can make the first trimester particularly challenging for many pregnant individuals, often requiring significant instrumental support from partners.

Research participants report that first trimester symptoms can be especially difficult because they are largely invisible to others, leading to decreased support precisely when many pregnant individuals are experiencing some of their most debilitating symptoms. Complaints such as tiredness or nausea make it more difficult for pregnant individuals to cook or shop for groceries, so partners taking on these tasks throughout pregnancy—beginning in the first trimester—can significantly improve wellbeing.

Evidence-based instrumental support strategies:

• Take on a greater share of household responsibilities from early pregnancy
• Manage grocery shopping and meal preparation
• Assist with transportation to medical appointments
• Provide physical comfort measures for pregnancy discomforts
• Create a restful environment at home
• Assist with setting up the baby’s space

2. Informational Support: Knowledge Sharing

 

Research indicates that most informational support provided by partners concerns foods that are unsafe during pregnancy. Partners inform themselves about these food products, discuss them with their pregnant partners, and check food labels to determine what can and cannot be eaten during pregnancy.

Studies show informational support is often provided because partners feel uncertain about pregnancy, particularly those expecting their first child. Information is sought to help partners feel more confident and prepared.

Evidence-based informational support strategies:

• Educate yourself about pregnancy, fetal development, and birth
• Research nutrition guidelines and food safety for pregnancy
• Learn about common pregnancy discomforts and relief measures
• Understand the stages of labor and comfort techniques
• Attend prenatal appointments (if your partner desires) to gather information firsthand
• Help filter through conflicting advice from various sources

3. Emotional Support: Psychological Connection

 

Research suggests that emotional support may be provided less frequently than instrumental support, but it appears to have particularly significant effects on maternal wellbeing. A longitudinal study examining partner support during pregnancy found that emotional support was a particularly strong predictor of maternal outcomes.

This suggests that listening and affectionate behaviors may account for much of the relationship between prenatal support and decreases in maternal emotional distress during pregnancy and postpartum.

Emotional support encompasses validation of feelings, empathetic listening, and expressions of care and concern. For pregnant individuals, having a partner who acknowledges the emotional complexities of pregnancy and responds with compassion rather than judgment appears particularly valuable.

Evidence-based emotional support strategies:

• Practice active listening techniques:
  • Give your full attention when your partner needs to talk
  • Reflect back what you hear to demonstrate understanding
  • Ask open-ended questions rather than yes/no questions
  • Avoid immediately problem-solving unless explicitly requested
  • Acknowledge emotions without minimizing them

• Validate your partner’s experiences:
  • “That sounds really challenging. I’m here for you.”
  • “It makes sense that you’d feel that way.”
  • “Your feelings are completely valid.”
  • “I can see why that would be concerning/exciting/frustrating for you.”
  • “Thank you for sharing that with me. It helps me understand what you’re going through.”

4. Appraisal Support: Assessment and Feedback

 

Research has identified a fourth type of support called “appraisal support.” This involves helping your pregnant partner evaluate situations and make decisions by providing constructive feedback and affirming her choices and abilities.

Studies show that over half of partners provide this type of support around food choices during pregnancy. Many partners make observations about healthy food options or remind their partners about foods that should be avoided during pregnancy. When done with sensitivity, this can help pregnant women make choices aligned with their health goals.

Effective ways to provide appraisal support:

• Offer positive feedback for healthy choices
• Provide constructive input when asked (not unsolicited criticism)
• Help evaluate options for important pregnancy and birth decisions
• Express confidence in your partner’s judgment and abilities
• Acknowledge her strength during challenging moments
• Affirm her changing body as beautiful and powerful

Optimizing Support Effectiveness

Research indicates that not all support has the same impact. Support from the partner was more willingly accepted by pregnant individuals if the support was perceived as being helpful, showing involvement, and positive. Conversely, partner support was not accepted if it was perceived as judgmental or unwanted.

1. Feels Helpful, Not Judgmental
   Support works best when it comes across as genuinely helpful rather than controlling or critical. A supportive tone makes all the difference between help that’s welcomed and help that’s rejected.
2. Shows True Involvement
   Women respond most positively to support that demonstrates your investment in the pregnancy. When you take initiative to learn and help without being asked, it shows that you see this as your journey too.
3. Focuses on the Positive
   Research shows pregnant women prefer positive support (“this would be healthy”) over negative feedback (“you shouldn’t eat that”). While some safety guidance is appreciated, a positive approach is generally more effective.
4. Matches Your Own Behavior
   Support about healthy habits works best when you practice what you preach. For example, suggestions about healthy eating are better received when partners demonstrate healthy eating themselves.

What reduces support effectiveness:

1. Coming Across as Judgmental
   Women in studies report rejecting partner support when it feels like criticism or unwanted interference. This is especially true around food choices.
2. Challenging Autonomy
   Research shows pregnant women value their independence in decision-making. Most feel capable of making their own choices and appreciate support that respects their agency.
3. Suggesting Unrealistic Changes
   Support is unlikely to be accepted when it doesn’t account for practical limitations or personal preferences. For instance, suggesting foods the pregnant person strongly dislikes is rarely helpful.

Supporting Nutritional Health During Pregnancy

Nutrition during pregnancy represents a critical area where partner support has been specifically studied and shown to have significant impact.

The Research on Nutritional Support

Scientific evidence indicates that a healthy diet during pregnancy is vital for both maternal and fetal health outcomes. Research demonstrates that adequate nutrition contributes to favorable short- and long-term health outcomes for both the pregnant person and the developing baby.

Three Ways to Support Healthy Eating

1. Create a Healthy Food Environment
   Research shows that one of the most helpful things partners can do is manage grocery shopping and meal preparation. This is especially important during the first trimester when food aversions and sensitivity to smells can make food preparation extremely difficult.

Many pregnant women report being unable to prepare foods they previously enjoyed because the smell makes them nauseated. By taking over cooking and shopping, you remove this barrier to healthy eating.

2. Show Solidarity Through Shared Diet Changes
   Studies reveal that pregnant women greatly appreciate when partners join them in avoiding foods that are unsafe during pregnancy. As one research participant shared: “I think it is the biggest support that you do not eat everything that I cannot eat right in front of me, for example ordering sushi while I cannot have that.”

When partners make similar dietary changes, it creates a sense of teamwork and makes restrictions feel less isolating for the pregnant woman.

3. Take Initiative with Food Safety Information
   Research shows that partners who proactively learn about pregnancy nutrition needs take a significant burden off their pregnant partners. Rather than relying on the pregnant person to figure out what’s safe and then educate you, taking initiative to learn this information yourself shows investment in the pregnancy.

Many partners report checking food labels or using pregnancy nutrition apps to ensure food safety. Some partners ask which foods are allowed while grocery shopping or preparing meals, but only after doing their own research first.

Supporting Physical and Emotional Comfort 

First Trimester Support: The Critical Window

Research clearly demonstrates that the first trimester represents a critical window for partner support, despite the fact that the pregnancy may not be visibly apparent. Studies show that hormonal fluctuations during this period can cause dramatic symptoms that significantly impact quality of life.

Evidence-based first trimester support strategies:

• Believe and validate symptoms even when not visible
• Understand that fatigue in early pregnancy can be overwhelming and different from normal tiredness
• Take over more household responsibilities without waiting to be asked
• Manage morning sickness triggers in the home environment (strong smells, certain foods)
• Take over tasks that might trigger nausea (food preparation, garbage disposal)
• Create quiet, restful spaces
• Be understanding about decreased interest in activities
• Recognize that symptoms can fluctuate dramatically day to day, requiring flexible support

Second Trimester Support: Adaptation Period

While many pregnant individuals experience improved energy and reduced nausea during the second trimester, research shows this is also a period of significant adaptation as the pregnancy becomes more physically apparent.

Evidence-based second trimester support strategies:

• Attend prenatal appointments and ultrasounds when possible and desired (by your partner)
• Connect with the pregnancy by feeling movement when it begins
• Affirm your partner’s changing body positively
• Help research birth options and begin preparations
• Continue practical support even if your partner’s energy improves
  • Setting up a dynamic where your partner must prove “need” of your care and support can be particularly hurtful 
• Recognize that symptoms can still persist for many pregnant individuals

Third Trimester Support: Increasing Physical Challenges

As pregnancy progresses into the third trimester, research shows that physical discomforts tend to intensify for most pregnant individuals.

Evidence-based third trimester support strategies:

• Assist with physical tasks as mobility decreases
• Help prepare the home environment for the baby
• Learn comfort measures for physical discomfort
• Create strategies for improving sleep quality
• Prepare together for labor and birth (watch The Sterling Birth Method together)
• Buffer intrusive comments about the pregnancy

Supporting Labor and Birth: The Research

A study conducted during the COVID-19 pandemic found that the continuous presence of a partner during labor and birth was associated with a higher probability of a low-intervention birth. Women whose partners were continuously present had nearly twice the likelihood of having a low-intervention birth compared to those whose partners were only partially present.

Furthermore, both continuous and partial presence of partners were associated with significantly more positive birth experiences. Research shows that even when partners could only be present for part of labor and birth (such as just for the delivery), mothers still reported better birth experiences than those whose partners couldn’t be present at all.

Perhaps most interestingly, this study found that these effects were independent of relationship quality, suggesting that the mere presence of a supportive partner during labor and birth has value beyond the general quality of the relationship.

Evidence-based labor support strategies:

• Be physically present throughout labor if possible
• Provide continuous emotional reassurance
• Offer physical comfort measures (massage, counter-pressure)
• Create a calm, protective environment
• Advocate for the birthing person’s preferences
• Provide hydration and encouragement
• Be flexible if birth plans need to change

The Mental Load of Pregnancy: A Critical Factor to Address

Research in recent years has identified the concept of “mental load” as a significant but often overlooked aspect of pregnancy. Mental load refers to the invisible cognitive labor involved in managing tasks, remembering appointments, tracking fetal development, researching baby items, planning for childcare, and countless other pregnancy-related responsibilities. Studies show this mental burden disproportionately falls on pregnant individuals and can create significant stress.

Research indicates that the mental load of pregnancy contributes to maternal stress, which has been linked to various adverse pregnancy outcomes including preterm birth, low birth weight, and developmental issues in children. Furthermore, studies show that household responsibility patterns established during pregnancy often persist after birth, potentially creating long-term family dynamics that affect relationship satisfaction.

When partners actively share the mental load of pregnancy, research shows several benefits:

1. Improved Maternal Health
   Studies demonstrate that pregnant individuals who report having supportive partners show lower levels of psychological distress, better sleep quality, and reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression. Reduced stress levels during pregnancy benefit both maternal and fetal health.
2. Enhanced Relationship Quality
   Research indicates that couples who work as a team during pregnancy report higher relationship satisfaction during the transition to parenthood. This foundation of partnership creates resilience for the challenges of new parenthood.
3. Better Family Functioning
   Research indicates that patterns of mental load distribution established during pregnancy often persist after birth. Creating equitable approaches to sharing responsibilities during pregnancy may help establish healthier family patterns that benefit all family members over time.

Evidence-based strategies for sharing the mental load:

• Proactively manage pregnancy and baby-related research without waiting to be asked
• Create shared digital systems for tracking tasks and appointments
• Take full responsibility for specific domains (e.g., researching childcare options, managing baby registry)
• Anticipate needs rather than waiting for direction
• Remember important dates and developmental milestones
• Hold space for pregnancy concerns without immediately problem-solving
• Organize home preparations for the baby’s arrival
• Create systems that do not require the pregnant person to provide reminders

Supporting Your Own Wellbeing as a Partner

Research indicates that supporting a pregnant partner while maintaining your own wellbeing is important for sustainable support.

Evidence-based self-care strategies for partners:

• Connect with other expectant parents for social support
• Communicate your own needs clearly
• Process your emotions with trusted friends or professionals
• Educate yourself about the transition to parenthood
• Maintain some personal interests and activities
• Ensure adequate sleep, nutrition, and exercise
• Address any mental health concerns proactively

Final Thoughts: The Research is Clear

The scientific evidence is compelling: your role as a partner during pregnancy is not peripheral but central to maternal wellbeing and infant development. Research demonstrates that:

1. Your emotional support directly influences your pregnant partner’s psychological wellbeing
2. Your practical support enables better health behaviors during pregnancy
3. Your physical presence during labor and birth is associated with improved birth outcomes
4. Your engagement throughout pregnancy has positive effects on infant development

Research suggests that enhancing the partner’s capacity to provide high-quality social support during pregnancy may be especially effective in reducing maternal postpartum anxiety and depression.

By understanding and applying these evidence-based support strategies—and recognizing the crucial importance of support throughout all stages of pregnancy, including the often-overlooked first trimester—you position yourself as an active contributor to your family’s health. The investment you make now in supporting your pregnant partner, guided by scientific research, lays the foundation for improved outcomes for your entire family.

Sources

Banse, R., & Kowalick, C. (2007). Implicit attitudes towards romantic partners predict well-being in stressful life conditions: Evidence from the antenatal maternity ward. International Journal of Psychology, 42(3), 149-157.

Berkman, L. F., Glass, T., Brissette, I., & Seeman, T. E. (2000). From social integration to health: Durkheim in the new millennium. Social Science & Medicine, 51(6), 843-857.

Cheng, E. R., Rifas-Shiman, S. L., Perkins, M. E., Rich-Edwards, J. W., Gillman, M. W., Wright, R., & Taveras, E. M. (2016). The influence of antenatal partner support on pregnancy outcomes. Journal of Women’s Health, 25(7), 672-679.

Davis, E. P., Glynn, L. M., Dunkel Schetter, C., Hobel, C., & Sandman, C. A. (2007). Prenatal exposure to maternal depression and cortisol influences infant temperament. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 46(6), 737-746.

Firouzan, V., Noroozi, M., Mirghafourvand, M., & Farajzadegan, Z. (2018). Participation of father in perinatal care: A qualitative study from the perspective of mothers, fathers, caregivers, managers and policymakers in Iran. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 18(1), 297.

Grenier, L. N., Atkinson, S. A., Mottola, M. F., Wahoush, O., Thabane, L., Xie, F., et al. (2021). Be healthy in pregnancy: Exploring factors that impact pregnant women’s nutrition and exercise behaviours. Maternal & Child Nutrition, 17(1), e13068.

Hodnett, E. (1996). Nursing support of laboring woman. Journal of Obstetric, Gynecologic, & Neonatal Nursing, 25(3), 257-264.

Hoffmann, L., Hilger, N., Riolino, E., Lenz, A., & Banse, R. (2023). Partner support and relationship quality as potential resources for childbirth and the transition to parenthood. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 23(435).

Iles, J., Slade, P., & Spiby, H. (2011). Posttraumatic stress symptoms and postpartum depression in couples after childbirth: The role of partner support and attachment. Journal of Anxiety Disorders, 25(4), 520-530.

Rini, C., Schetter, C. D., Hobel, C. J., Glynn, L. M., & Sandman, C. A. (2006). Effective social support: Antecedents and consequences of partner support during pregnancy. Personal Relationships, 13(2), 207-229.

Stapleton, L. R., Schetter, C. D., Westling, E., Rini, C., Glynn, L. M., Hobel, C. J., & Sandman, C. A. (2012). Perceived partner support in pregnancy predicts lower maternal and infant distress. Journal of Family Psychology, 26(3), 453-463.

Super, S., & Wagemakers, A. (2021). Understanding empowerment for a healthy dietary intake during pregnancy. International Journal of Qualitative Studies on Health and Well-being, 16(1), 1857550.

Tokhi, M., Comrie-Thomson, L., Davis, J., Portela, A., Chersich, M., & Luchters, S. (2018). Involving men to improve maternal and newborn health: A systematic review of the effectiveness of interventions. PLOS One, 13(1), e0191620.

van Lonkhuijzen, R. M., Rustenhoven, H., de Vries, J. H. M., & Wagemakers, A. (2023). The role of the partner in the support of a pregnant woman’s healthy diet: An explorative qualitative study. BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth, 23(760).

Versele, V., Stok, F. M., Aerenhouts, D., Deforche, B., Bogaerts, A., Devlieger, R., et al. (2021). Determinants of changes in women’s and men’s eating behavior across the transition to parenthood: A focus group study. International Journal of Behavioral Nutrition and Physical Activity, 18(1), 95.

World Health Organization. (2016). WHO recommendations on antenatal care for a positive pregnancy experience. WHO.